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diary
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| 25th
June 2008 OK, getting it over with I've been so fucking ill for so fucking long it's not funny. I've resisted the temptation to write about it on the site as I really don't want my name to be synonymous with illness or my music to be rated as "good, considering". It started nearly three years ago with totally crushing chest pains, especially under physical or emotional stress. Resisting the temptation to go straight to the nearest hospital I saw the GP instead who (almost instantly) diagnosed it as costocondritus (about 6/10 nasty - see http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?articleId=483 ). I did a couple of gigs with it - seriously fucking painful but I didn't tell anyone I didn't know personally and masked it quite well, which was a goal I set myself and considered it to be pretty cool. It cleared up after a few months - I'd never been ill for more than a couple of weeks at a time so it seemed like forever. Over the next six months I started writing music again and feeling great - doing regular 50+ mile bike rides, 300 stomach crunches a day, and as I gave up the fags a while before I was on the road to being the fittest I've ever been. Then in summer 2006 my chest got bad again, worse than the first time. Once again the doctor diagnosed costocondritus without hardly looking at or examining me. I had no reason to think he was wrong so spent the next three months agonised, but believing I'd be better soon. It began clearing up but I feeling really sick all the time and developed stomach pains - slicing and stabbing at me with the meanness. I was lucky enough to see a doctor who actually gave a fuck, put me on some half decent pills, gave up alcohol (to this day- ouch!) and I felt a bit better - my stomach and chest mostly cleared up but the nausea continued for several months. Then that New Year (2007) the stomach and chest pains came back worse than ever - really stupid bad. I've never really fucked my body up but the experience put the closest things - torn ligaments/tonsillitis/bike into wall - very much in the shade. For the third time I really, really should've gone straight to hospital but I've got this stupid little bit of my brain which must think it's good to suffer or I deserve it or some shit. So onwards to the GP's. After no emergency tests, several months of waiting lists and being prescribed anti-depressants (I think the experience was enough to make anybody miserable, talk about treating the symptoms and not the problem) I was diagnosed as having oesophagitis (8/10 nasty - see http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?articleId=571 ) . My version has ulcers, which isn't pleasant. All this would be very "oh that was awful, wasn't it?" if it wasn't still going on. I've been taking drugs for it for a year now with little effect and I've recently discovered that oesophagitis shouldn't affect you particularly under physical stress like mine does which I've found worrying enough (that I don't have a 9 or 10/10 nasty) to seek private treatment - my first appointment is this Friday. So I'm wishing myself good luck with that one. I came off the stupid motherfucking Prozac ten days ago and after a week's nasty withdrawal (from this non-addictive drug) my brain feels a bit more lively. That about covers it my health for now and I'll only be referring to it again anecdotally or if there's a major change. There's no way I can book gigs right now, as I'd rather sit around listening to Wagner as my body decays, but I've managed to keep up to date with dorky music tech stuff so my (virtual) studio's great - I try to do an hour or two most days. You must be a bit of a fan to have got this far - thanks for checking the site after so long - so click here for your 10mb download reward. And here's another one - you can *WIN* the *ACTUAL* Tascam DA-30 mk2 DAT machine (big digital tape deck) used to record *ALL* the ULTRAVIOLENCE albums (except for the first one) and used for MANY gigs. The transport mechanism's a bit FUCKED but it'd make a great antique, or D/A converter/ level meter if you plug it into your hi-fi. I'll supply ***FULL AFTER COMPETITION SUPPORT***, as well as signing it if you like. To win, please answer the following questions; 1/ What format
was the single "North Korea Goes Bang" released on; Please post your answers on the message board (1b, 3c etc) - the first to post will win the prize so please check no-one got there first. I'm afraid I can't ship the DAT machine outside the UK so there's a t-shirt for the first entry from abroad. Hope that's brightened your day as it has mine. Cheers, Johnny |
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| 9
September 2004 My Webmistress has recently debunked to Edinburgh and I'm off to visit her on the train - yer canny wee English bastard! This is a Virgin train so no smoking and I'd better not swear in case someone's wandering eye should see this and take offence. F***! It shouldn't be a Virgin train - it should've been a GNER, however the Central trains service from Nottingham to Grantham was slightly late - arriving only minutes before the connecting service left. "So why didn't you get on it, Johnny?" you might ask. "Well, because a station staff member wouldn't unlock the doors to let us on!" I might reply. "That's really f***ing stupid" you'd probably say. And be absolutely right. I whiled away the hour at Grantham wondering whether I'd be forcibly removed from the station if I'd called the staff member a "belligerent cocksucker." Make that c***sucker. B*****ks! Rewind to something relevant. I've been pretty busy doing stuff for the album lately (see news). We mastered the bulk of it last Friday but are still waiting for final agreements on licences to use music I've mixed for other people - notably Laibach and Mark Stewart which are tracks I'm really desperate to have on the album. Fingers crossed. A full track listing will appear on the site as soon as I know. Message board readers will be aware that I got a bit over-enthused and announced the album on there way before time - not that I'll be tempted to make the same mistake again as someone chose to render the board close to unusable. Go have a look if you're into car crashes and the like. I don't really understand the thinking behind it. It's not as though I'm some big rock star fleecing the fans for all they're worth - the tone of the whole site was totally friendly and fun before this. So thanks a f***ing lot, really. Ha! Managed the censorstars! There's a couple of new tracks on the CDs - firstly "Electric Chair EC2.BA/X." The postcode-esque abbreviation stands for "Electric Chair 2 Blown Away Exclusive." I decided the name should sound like a computer file as it's the first track I've mixed digitally - which was quite good fun once I'd got used to the associated anomalies. It's the same 162bpm tempo as the original version but totally rearranged with kilotons of pumping bass and a couple of new voice samples that took ages to manipulate into almost unrecognisable computer generated cyberterrorsound! I'm even more excited about the second track, "Theme from Guts V1." Guts is a short zombie movie currently in production and I'm doing the score - this is a three minute exposure to the atmospheres I'll be using in the end product. The sounds are all totally spot on and when played loud the piece is genuinely frightening. The only niggle is that it sounds a bit quiet on small speakers as alot of the volume is taken up with temple shaking sub-bass. So buy bigger speakers! I'm so chuffed with this track that if someone were to say to me "what do you do?" I'd happily play them just this track and if they weren't impressed they'd be stupid. Speaking of blowing my own trumpet, I've done a 1000+ word info sheet for promoters - unless I'm off on one talking about my music (see above) I find it quite hard to sell myself. I really should have a manager to deal with all that but I've just "never met the right person." In spite of this I think it reads quite impressively and hopefully I'll be able to announce some dates over the next couple of weeks. Got to go now - I'm starting to feel a bit nicotine withdrawn, fat and depressed being cooped up in this carriage. And that's despite a ten hour exercise regime. More on that another time - I'll be keeping a regular diary again now I'm back to doing Ultraviolence stuff. The next one will be written from GNER service 16.09.04 17.00 Edinburgh - Doncaster coach B seat 21. See you there. F***! |
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| 16
September 2004 "People...we're goin' NOWHERE!" Or so it may seem when stuck once again on a GNER service - this time back to Nottingham. Actually these trains aren't so bad - they make a fantastic whirring when going apace - up to 140mph and you can smoke. Not that I feel that much like smoking today having been struck down by a cold that has rendered me useless for the past three days. I blame go-karts. Last Friday I had my first experience of "proper" 70mph karts at a track called Raceland off the A1 just south of Edinburgh. I've only driven 40mph karts before and the difference is stunning - hurtling round the 1km track, tyres squealing, controlling oversteer, understeer, inclines, off camber turns - fucking A! I came to folly a couple of times - the unfortunate one being when I overcooked a hairpin, spun and got a good whack from the side by an approaching competitor. It nearly winded me and I think the subsequent chest pains are probably responsible for this nasty cold/cough. Still, it was well worth it and I'll be trying to beat my 1m3s electronically timed lap the next time I'm up there. I have managed to snuffle my way to the computer a couple of times this week to check out the sleeve designs for the album - they're progressing nicely with a great "blown" speaker with dark rendered imagery in the background. I'm going to write a short piece about each track for the inner sleeve notes so it should make for a lovely package **BUY DON'T BURN!!** Talking of stealing from people, after I finished the last diary entry an extremely rude member of Virgin Trains staff stung me for £15.50 for being on the wrong train when I only caught the fucking thing because I was made late by the last train. Everyone know the "integrated transport system" is a lie, but trains not even being "integrated" with one another is taking the piss and makes it tempting to catch the nasty polluting plane instead. And I don't just mean air pollution - they fucking make a right racket. People sometimes complain about the volume of my music but if I turned it up as loud as the (overhead) planes at all hours I'd be in prison by now - and rightly so! I'm a real grumpy fuck today who is starting to descend into "swearing over content" so I'd better go. Hopefully next time I'll know more about gigs, albums and other Ultraviolence things and so less about planes, trains, automobiles and colds. Fuck! Grumpy bastard... |
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| 9
October 2004
This film is based on a true story. The shocking scenes you are about to witness have been left in their entirety - if in doubt DO NOT VIEW! Beyond Ultraviolence - Suburban Holocaust 2 Starring; (A suburban house. The doorbell rings) Johnny Violent; My God...I heard something...maybe... (The doorbell rings again) Johnny; Yes...that's it...the doorbell...I must answer the doorbell. (Opens door) Johnny; What...who
are you? (outside Braddock's car) Johnny; This is
your car, right? (outside the pub. Sounds of chart music) Charlie; This
is terrible... (inside pub) Charlie; This
place is terrible...is it called al...co...hol? (at table) Charlie; What's...that? The
End |
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| 20
October 2004
So I'm back on
the trains again. They're more or less on time for a change but
I overheard a member of Nottingham station staff do a bit of a howler; |
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27 Oct 2004 Back on the train
but my silliness has been sullied by the sad news that John Peel
died two days ago. I cannot pretend to be personally bereaved, but
I did chat to him on the phone several times and he was always just
like his media persona - genuine, self-effacing and kind. He did
me a great service by playing my tracks and also by introducing
me to new music as I was growing up - one of the most familiar voices
in my life. He also did the world a great service by doing the same
for countless artists and millions of music fans - without him it
is conceivable that a lot of what is now considered mainstream and/or
acceptable musically simply wouldn't have had the chance to evolve.
John Peel 1939-2004 |
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| 11
December 2004
14:47GMT and I
descend into the pits of hell. Well, not it's quite an Iraqi torture
chamber but Camden tube station is quite bad enough. The escalators
are out of commission so it's down the spiral stairs, huge luggage
case in hand with about 200 other desperados. The station itself
shows no improvement - quite the opposite with people nearly spilling
onto the line. As you may have gathered I get pretty claustrophobic
at times and the next train to Angel tube which is right beside
my destination - the Electrowerkz venue - will be another twelve
minutes. I toy with the idea of doing a runner and cabbing it but
I'm already late for the 3pm soundcheck. I know everyone else will
be late but I hate not to be on time. So I pleasure myself with
suicidal and murderous fantasies involving lines, electricity and
finally trains before one of the noisy, dirty horrible big dumbfucks
decides to put in an appearance. I stand uncomfortably fidgeting
and avoiding eye contact just like everyone else on board, my eyes
wander to the line map and I realise I've bought the wrong friggin'
ticket. Ten minutes later I'm out breathing the almost fresh air
again, my faith in human nature slightly regained by the fact that
the staff couldn't give a fuck about what sort of ticket I have
- sometimes apathy works and now I have clarity. |
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